TO INSPIRE PEOPLE DON'T SHOW THEM YOUR SUPERPOWERS, SHOW THEM THEIRS.
TO INSPIRE PEOPLE DON'T SHOW THEM YOUR SUPERPOWERS, SHOW THEM THEIRS.
TO INSPIRE PEOPLE, DON’T SHOW THEM YOUR SUPERPOWERS, SHOW THEM THEIRS.
ALEXANDER DEN HEJJER
JANUARY 2025
-
Most Impactful App
Ope n
Last month I did this 21 day Nervous System Reset and absolutely loved it. First and foremost (as a designer) this app is visually incredible. It is intuitive, well thought out and very well designed. It makes you want to LOOK at your phone while meditating (dont ;). The breathwork meditations incorporate amazing rhythms and beats to help you stay with it (which is so much cooler than someone saying “breathe in and breathe out” over and over again). There are a ton of programs that I find cover almost any mindset you are going after. I highly suggest the free trial!
Also James Blake, the amazing musician, is heading up all the sounds on the app making it even more incredible.
-
Most Impactful Podcast Episode
EP: Finding Shadow in the Body: Thomas Hubl
Elise Loehnen and Thomas Hubl are two of my favorites and to hear them together on her podcast was one of the best I listened to in 2024. Their way of explaining deep emotional experiences in such an understandable and relatable ways always blows my mind.
This episode talks about envy and other suppressed parts of ourselves and how they can ultimately be a map of our true desires, leading us in the direction of fulfillment.
-
Most Impactful Book
You Could Make This Place Beautiful
by Maggie Smith
As someone who has navigated divorce this book really hit some vulnerable parts for me; betrayal, coparenting and everything in between. Maggie Smith is most known for her poem that went viral called “Good Bones” which is a heart wrenching beautiful insight into parenting in our current landscape.
I am enthralled by writers who can so eloquently speak to human experiences that I find so hard to put into words. A wonderful journey on how there is no easy way out in this world, not in marriage and not in divorce, but through hard times we are pushed to grow.
-
Winter Blues: My New Arsenal
I am determined to keep my mood and energy up this winter despite Portland being dark and rainy for over 6 months straight. Ill let you know how all these go…
2. HigherDOSE Infrared Mat: Ive used this every day for nearly 3 years now. It is amazing for nervous system reset. I fall asleep within 5 minutes every time I lay on it.
3. GroundingWell Bedsheet: Stay tuned! This mat has electrons that mimic the earth that grounds you and helps with healing, rejuvenation, deeper sleep and less achy body upon waking. Here’s hoping!
4. Coop Sleep Goods: Crescent Pillow. This is for side + back sleepers and its been really helpful for my neck. It even comes with an extra bag of filing so you can add or take out depending on how fluffy you want your pillow!
5. ARMRA Colostrum: Ive decided 2025 is the year of NOT taking supplements (are they even doing anything?) but because I have had major digestive issues and have tried everything EXCEPT this that everyone raves about Im going to give it a try.
6. Everlane Alpaca Cocoon Crew: Ive had this sweater for years and love the style, shape and how it hangs. They have lots of colors on sale- a great winter staple!
-
Most Impactful At Home Workouts
1. Melissa Wood Health: This has been my go to for a few years. Low impact, yoga pilates and strength training videos that are easy to follow and usually under an hour. Great when you are trying to get back into a workout routine AND only $10/month.
2. Backbody Project: Local Portlander Meegan really kicks your booty! Her classes are SO challenging and fun and make your muscles scream (in a good way).
3.The Sculpt Society:A great workout that mixes dance moves with sculpt, pilates/yoga style. Uplifting and fun, I really enjoy the owner Megans classes!
4. The Class: Ive been doing the class on and off for a decade. It is a beautiful connection of emotional and physical- where the teachers always infuse classes with deep thoughts, inspirations and words to really inspire and create introspection. A MUST try if you are ever in NY/LA in person.
5. Sky Ting Yoga: A NYC yoga classic with amazing teachers who bring decades of experience and insights. Lots of yoga styles to choose from and get connected back to your body. The owner Krissy is very inspiring (check her out in various articles, podcasts etc).
-
Most Impactful YouTube Video
Relationship as a Spiritual Practice: Terry Real in Conversation with Thomas Hübl
Terry Real has become one of my favorite relationship therapists on soclal media these days. It took me some time to warm up to his delivery, but I really find him to be vulnerable and spot on. Another chat with Thomas, this is an important conversation for all humans at any stage of their relationships. Great Listen.
-
Most Inspiring Home (in Portland!)
As a Nike Color Designer by day, Alex Proba has been on my radar for a long time. Her ability to put every color together without it looking like a childish rainbow is incredibly impressive. In her Domino Magazine feature you can see how incredible her taste is and what an amazing energy she infuses into her home.
Her art, sculptures and creations inspire me to approach my work and life in a different way. More unexpected, more risk taking and more fun! I am determined to try and get her to sit down and have a coffee with me in 2025 ;)
-
Most Important Job Uplevel Hack
I recently got promoted at Nike and after many interviews and conversations I asked for feedback. Across the board the feedback I got was - you were a finalist in all the interviews because you did work relevant to the job you were applying for.
Many of us take our resumes and portfolios and send them off to hundreds of places thinking that once we get an interview we will show them how and why we are a relevant candidate. I have found in working with many clients that the ones who show up from the start with brand relevant work are the ones who get the interviews. This may mean doing extra work for a brand before even getting an interview! It is vital to show up from the start offering “this is what I can do for you.” If it takes you more than one minute to explain why certain work is relevant to this job I would consider taking it off your resume/portfolio. There is a very short window to get the recruiters attention and therefore the work needs to instantly show relevance to what they need.
-
Favorite Self Help Book
I can’t actually pick a favorite but I really loved The Craving Mind by Judson Brewer. He is a neuroscientist who has studied addiction for the last 20 years. I have always been curious about these behaviors and how the brain hijacks many of our plans to “be good.” I heard about Judson through a podcast where he talked about ice cream (one of my most strong addictions) and the feeling when you have the intention of stopping and at the same time you are walking to the freezer and eating the ice cream before you can do anything about it. We then get down on ourselves for not having the willpower and the cycle persists. I am excited to read his most recent book The Hunger Habit and have more insight around how our brain really works with pleasure, desire and discipline.
“When I do good, I feel good, when I do bad, I feel bad and that is my religion” Abraham Lincoln
My Unfiltered Life: How I decided to leave my 10yr marriage.
Everyone told me the same thing, I would go when I was ready. That it didn’t matter what the therapist said, what friends said or even what I knew deep down. That one day I would reach the point when I couldn’t go on any further and that would be the day. They were all right.
What feels hard to talk about is that my marriage wasn’t anything “bad.” There was no abuse, no affairs, cheating, or lying. No addictions or major crises to explain to people so they can go “OH yes I see.” We met young (mid 20s) and we established a dynamic at 25 years old that no longer worked for me at 36 with 2 kids. There was an imbalance. Part of that I find true in most marriages - she does all the cooking, cleaning, and planning and he never does enough. Part of it was having small kids - no sleep and a lot of stress. Just this dynamic in itself can cause a lot of people to go separate ways. But there was something bigger at play for me; and one of the first and best things I did for myself was to own my part of the imbalance.
I was told by my therapist and others to really own my happiness and not put it on my husband to be the person to give me that. So I started following my dreams. I opened my retail shop Field Trip. I took care of my physical and mental health - eating well, doing yoga, prioritizing sleep and my friendships. On paper I was “doing it all right.” But I still felt this gnawing loneliness. I started waking up at 3am having panic attacks with my heart racing so fast it was like I was sprinting. I drove myself to the Emergency Room that night because I thought I was going to have a heart attack. My husband stayed home with our 2 kids (3,4 years old). He slept the rest of the night while I layed in a hospital bed convinced I’d never see my family again. There was a voice deep down that I wasn’t listening to and it was going to make me listen now. I think that voice was saying- it’s not supposed to be like this.
Sometimes we have a hard time knowing what “right” feels like. Is this the right job? The right house? How do we even know what it’s supposed to feel like! Does everyone feel like this in a marriage? What about at their job? What about being a mom? It felt overwhelming and confusing.
So I started to understand what “right” felt like in certain areas of my life. Being a mom felt right. It was hard, it was exhausting, it tested my patience in every single way but underneath that was a certainty and foundation that being a mom was the best decision I’d ever made. Owning Field Trip felt right. Every time I entered that beautiful space I felt peace. Through every challenge (holy moly there were a lot) it never shook the foundation that opening this store was 100% what I wanted. Both were the “right kind of hard.” My therapist told me there are no easy outs - that staying married is hard and that getting divorced is hard and being single is hard; ultimately we choose our hard. So I was able to gain some perspective on the areas that challenged me in good ways- ways that made me grow as a human. And I started to see challenges that were keeping me stuck and not inviting in growth or evolution. Things that were the not “right hard” were things like; not getting my needs met and trying to be ok with that, learning to be ok without intimacy from the only person I could get it from, feeling like I had to earn love through codependent behaviors. Ultimately that helped me get clarity on leaving a marriage even with all the challenges that would come with that.
My husband and I did not have the same vision for how to do life. While this isn’t necessarily a problem for everyone, it became one for me as it made me incredibly lonely. We didn’t want the same amount of physical touch and intimacy. We didn’t have the same vision for supporting each other which felt vital as an entrepreneur and parent. And while I had a lot to learn from his contentment and keeping life more simplified, I ultimately felt I needed a deeper connection on many levels. I know I needed this so deeply that I was willing to do life alone vs having someone next to me that wasn’t next to me.
With that evolved a beautiful space where we could honor each others ways and let the other person be who they are, but also decide it isn’t the right dynamic for a successful marriage. I think we both got freedom in being able to do that and then create an amazing friendship and coparenting relationship from there.
What I come back to every day is that we just have this one short life. If we don’t have the courage to listen to that deeper knowing then we may look back with regrets and not live our best only life. One of my biggest fears in life is having to do it alone. To get into bed each night with the other side empty when intimacy and connection are the core of who I am. To sit and eat dinners alone at my kitchen table while my kids are at their dads. But this is how life goes- it makes you face those fears. It puts you in situations where you have to face that fear to show yourself it only exists in your mind and can be overcome. And while I support marriage in every way and would choose for people to work it out vs go separate ways (especially if kids are involved), I mostly support people having the happiest most fulfilled versions of their life whatever that needs to look like. How bold one becomes when they are sure of being loved.
FEBRUARY 2025
-
Inspiring Podcast
Diary of a CEO w/ Charlie Houpert
As you’ve heard all the kids say- some people have the RIZ or chaRIZma. Charilie Houpert goes into depth around this quality some people have and why we are drawn to them. It is a fascinating balance of science as well as human intuition and why we are drawn to certain people. Highly recomment practicing some of your own RIZ after listening.
-
You're Not The Only One
This month I hosted a women’s retreat at this beautiful home.
The day was amazing and I am always so impressed by how aligned everyone is that joins - even though nobody knew each other. What I continue to be in awe of is how much we all struggle with the same things. We can feel so alone and so misunderstood and then spend the day with a group of others and realize how much we are all on similar journeys. The 5 things I learned again.
1. Marriage is HARD and being single is HARD. The theme of both- loneliness. If we are with the wrong person we can feel incredibly alone even when someone is physically by our side. When we are single, spending so much time on your own can feel incredibly lonely. Ultimately there is a lesson in finding personal fulfillment and worth for ourselves, BUT also honoring the draw for connection and for aligment in our love lives. Both take a lot of COURAGE and trust to follow those instincts.
2. Our purpose doesnt’t necessarily live in our career or what we “do” and if we stop putting pressure on it to exist there we can find where it really does live (maybe in being a mom, a friend, a caretaker, an artist).
3. An “All or Nothing” mindset feeds our stagnation more than our growth. Do not give in to this incredibly limiting way of doing things.
4. Sometimes we are stuck because the timing isn’t right and we need patience and sometimes we are stuck because we refuse to do things differently. It is important to be honest about which one is true.
5. Most/ALL women have food intolerances HA!
-
The New 50
As I get closer to 50 (eeeek) I am trying a. not to freak out b. start following women who feel inspiring !
What I’ve gathered is that as we get closer to Menopause the more important protein, movement and weight lifting is. For metabolic health and strength as our declining hormones really start to take effect. Here are some accounts I’ve been really enjoying.
@fiftyfitnessjourney (image above)
-
Best Background Tunes
Cleaning? Working? Having friends over for dinner and drinks? This is a beautiful mix of amazing songs (Pale Jay is soo good) but instrumental and really MAKES the mood. Check it out.
-
The Perfect Scent
My love of Aesop continues with their newest line of fragrances. I just finished my bottle of Eidesis.
If you’re looking for a signature scent that isn’t too strong or headache inducing this line at Aesop is the jam.
This new scent sounds AMAZING and I can’t wait to try it. I’m waiting for their flight of testers to become available again to give them a try!
-
Undecided
I love most movies by A24 as well as any movie with Paul Rudd but I am still undecided on this one. What do you think?
-
Uplevel Your Vision (board)
Something I’ve really enjoyed is combining my love for design/visual beauty with my love for creating manifestation vision boards.
I’ve been in the design world my whole adult life and want to share with you some amazing visual websites!! Fun to explore, inspire and create your own amazing vision boards.
https://theleoisallinthemind.tumblr.com/
-
The BEST monthly Tarot Reading
If you don’t know Chris Corsini you are in for a treat.
Every month he does a monthly reading for each sign, pulls tarot cards, and gives in depth advice. He not only is always SO on point (like freakishly so) but he is also using sign language the whole time. He is forward and blunt and I love it. Give a listen for your February reading and see if it tracks!
-
The BEST 30 day self led course.
Cory Muscara is an amazing coach and thought leader that I have followed for awhile. He is incredibly well spoken and balances the emotional with the pragmatic perfectly. Last year I did his 30 day course on Letting Go and absolutely loved it (as I have spoken about below).
If you are looking for more info on this process his course is great. It is daily 15min talks that he gives and I had SO many lightbulb moments and insights.
Check it out HERE.
My Unfiltered Life: Why control has kept me from aligned love.
I’ve spent a lot of my life in a cycle of control—either obsessively worrying about outcomes or remaining hypervigilant around people and my surroundings. Many of you might resonate with a childhood where fear was used as a deterrent, shaping your perception of the world. I remember the warnings: “Smoking and drugs will kill you,” or “Traveling alone is dangerous.” and my favorite “People go missing from Spring Break.” These messages, while intended to protect, led me to be a very anxiety ridden child and having one of the most nervous, nervous systems!
Something I learned from one of my mentors is that the first step in letting go is to understand and love the part of us that is holding on. My rational mind understands that control is an illusion, yet I still find myself grappling with questions that create anxiety. Will he love me? Will he leave me? Will I get fired? Will my kids be ok? What would I do if I was alone forever? The truth I’ve discovered is that the energy I spend on being scared and thus controlling, takes away from the energy I need to create the life I truly desire— filled with freedom, safety, trust, and growth. It is only from this headspace that we can actually hear our inner desires.
I have experienced (many times) the result of making decisions based on control and not trust. I have spent most of my life choosing partners that were “safe” because they were passive and complacent and let me make all the decisions. I’ve also done the codependent dynamic where I chose someone with deep trauma or addiction that needed me and I felt would never leave me. This self-protection has kept me from the equal partnership that I deeply desire-- interesting how we end up creating the thing that we are scared of.
So what do we do to see the part of us that is holding on? We sit with all of those open ended questions and with the uncertainty and unpredictability of life. We have to own the parts of us that haven’t been ok with this and bring it to the surface so it no longer directs our behavior. I want to be someone that makes life choices from a place of trust and love, not from fear. This requires me to sit in that discomfort without avoidance, numbing, or controlling through action. I think we can all relate to trying to control our health, bodies, relationships etc. Trying to be perfect, to take all the right supplements and have the perfect weekly meal plan set and say the right thing or avoid the confrontation (yes, avoidance is also control)- all out of trying to force things to be a certain way.
Because I know the areas of my life where I don’t do this (career etc) I know the feeling of living and making decisions based on trust and what I actually want. I am perhaps more detached from that area of life because I don’t source my value from there as much as I do from romantic connection and partnership. I think it’s interesting to look at the areas of our life where we have the most friction to understand what we need to learn about ourselves there. Everyone has their place- maybe it is in career, love (friendships or romantic), family, purpose, or money. Where is the most friction in your life and are you being asked to loosen the reigns?
Why does this matter? To feel whole and complete, we must cultivate safety and trust within ourselves. Control signals to our brains that we’re not okay with things as they are right now OR we desperately hold onto the present, driving us to seek externally to find peace. But true peace comes from nurturing our inner selves, soothing our fears, and allowing ourselves to ride the inevitable waves of life. Then we make choices based on the present and clear adult version of ourselves.
That is true freedom and wholeness.
MARCH 2025
-
Inspiring Podcast
I’m going to assume most of you have heard if this new podcast and if you haven’t jumped on the popular bandwagon I highly suggest you do. Nonverbal autistic kids are reading minds, meeting on a virtual hill (through thought only) and predicting the future. They are tapped into a level of consciousness that is not felt or understood by a wide part of the population and their explanation of it is FASCINATING.
If you want to get even more into the science I recommend this talk.
Ive been listening on my way to work and these stories bring me to tears. There is so much about this world that we don’t know. There is so much about consciousness and energy that is still untapped. It feels like my hope and faith and love bursts open when I think of the potential we have as humans.
-
Nostalgic Dance Moves
My medicine is dance…in a class or in my living room. I have been revisiting my old 90’s dance songs and loving every second of it.
This Playlist.
If you are someone that feels self conscious or embarrassed about moving your body in looking “stupid” I highly recommend pushing past this in the privacy of your bedroom. There is so much liberation in letting yourself move to music and not filter how you look.
Not only does this get you back into your body but it shifts energy, releases stress and just generally lightens the weight of life! Personal dance party! Do it!
-
The Unfolding
So excited to start this book.
Portland people; there is a book club for this at Woo Woo on 4/4 if you live here.
She discusses the 5 stages of personal evolution and I love when writers put beautiful language to all the internal conflicts we face. Her stages are the Awakening, Eclipsing, Mending, Illuminating, and Returning. I can already tell I’m going to love it.
First Paragraph:
“Over the last couple of years, I started to experience a number of substantial shifts in my life. I could feel these shifts stirring but I didn’t entirely know what they meant….This shift included breaking off relationships as well as attributes and parts of myself that no longer fit the person I was becoming.”
Sigh.
-
My Pisces Bday
I’m not sure what amazing star alignment landed on my birthday but this was one for the books. I have been doing deep work around receiving, as I tend to be more comfortable in being the one always taking care of everyone and everything else (hello control!). This was a beautiful lesson for me around people really coming through. Messages, gifts, quality time and being prioritized. I am so thankful for the beautiful community I have created here and for my amazing teenage kiddos who blow my mind. Some faves…
The new scent from Salt + Stone HOLY WOW! Saffron and Cedar, yes please.
Candles + Chocolate- my ladies know me.
Sauna time at the 2 best spots in Portland. Knot Springs + Loyly.
My son bought me a beautiful bowl from this sweet home shop JP General in Multnomah Village.
I’ve been eyeing this pattern for months and apparently my friend reads minds cause she gifted it to me. Schoolhouse is classic.
I used to carry items from People I’ve Loved at Field Trip. I’ve always loved their messaging and convo starters including this journal I received!
-
Brianna Weist
“LIVE WITH PALMS WIDE OPEN—WHAT’S RIGHT WILL LAND AND REMAIN WITHOUT YOUR FISTS CLOSING TO KEEP IT.”
Brianna Weist is a beautiful poet and storyteller, taking life’s biggest challenges and creating dialogue around how to look at things differently. I highly recommend reading ALL her books. I just finished her new one The Life That’s Waiting (you can download the pdf). The above quote has been top of mind lately.
The Mountain is You
10 Essays that will Change the Way You Think.
I revisit these often.
-
My Sign
One fun thing I like to do with clients (to get them to believe ;) is to pick a sign or ask for the universe to show you a sign (that will be clear to you).
About 5 years ago, right before my partner and I split. we had a birthday party for his daughter with a pinata filled with confetti. Not surprising I would continue to find confetti all over the house and yard. It started to become strange to me, as years later I would be weeding the yard and a gold confetti would pop up. At first I thought it was a sign that we were meant to be together (typical Pisces) but realized clearly that was NOT the sign. I asked my tarot what it meant (another typical Pisces move). I got the card for family. The confetti continued to show up in my life in the most RANDOM places. Like on a sidewalk in NYC, a the beach on the sand, on the ground at my office. It became my sign from the universe that my desire to be a family again, to feel the way i did that day, was going to be back in my life. I would manifest it again but aligned this time.
A few days before my birthday I asked the universe to send me a sign letting me know we are still co-creating. I didn’t ask for anything in particular but just something that would be unquestionably MY sign. Well I was walking my dog and he pulled me across the street. After we crossed I looked down in the grass to find THIS confetti. The same one I always see.
Try it for yourself and see what magic happens!